Some days it feels like life shatters overnight, and the world expects us back at work by Monday. In this raw conversation, we go inside life after loss when the person who felt like home is suddenly gone, and the only options are staying stuck in the closet or choosing a new way forward. This is grief, faith, and reinvention told from inside the storm, not from a distance.

Dr. Monica Parham shares how a small-town girl became a dentist, survived divorce, found the love of her life, and then lost him during the pandemic. Her journey through deep heartbreak, prayer, and radical self-reinvention now shapes how she works, parents, dates, and lives with a new sense of courage.

Press play to sit with a friend who understands loss and is proof that thriving again is possible, even when it feels impossible.

• Life after loss when a soulmate and best friend is gone
• The “closet” season and what finally sparked a turning point
• Why honoring a great love can mean building a bigger life
• Dating, Golden Bachelor, and finding joy after widowhood
• Faith, family, and community as anchors through intense grief
• Daily health habits that support emotional healing and resilience
• What it means to live, love, survive, and truly thrive

02:28 Meet Monica: Small Town To Big Dreams 

07:13 Grief In The Closet: The Darkest Months After Loss

11:20 Saying Yes To Life Again And Helping Others Heal

13:40 Dating In Our 60s And Learning To Move Forward

15:24 Hitting Rock Bottom And The Moment Everything Shifted

17:42 Work, Patients, And Responsibility While Grieving

20:17 Why Community And Routine Matter In Early Grief

29:48 Monica’s Life Motto: This Too Shall Pass And Let It Go

34:10 From Surviving To Thriving: Saying Yes To New Experiences

36:10 Choosing Positivity, Self Work, And Being A Light For Others

39:08 Lifelong Friendship, Dental School Memories, And Gratitude

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📖Grid: Once in a Lifetime You Get to Start Over by Dr. Kimberly Hubenette

📖Live, Love, Survive, Thrive! by Dr. Kimberly Hubenette (COMING SOON)

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09:05 “He’ll always be a part of me for the rest of my life, but in a good way… He would be so proud of me if I were to move forward and be my best self.” —Dr. Monica Parham

14:48 “I knew I had to bring myself out of this situation and live life because it’s not just about living it, but to thrive. This is the only life we get; we only have this one opportunity. We can’t just keep trying to live in the past. We have to make the conscious decision to move forward.” —Dr. Monica Parham

19:51 “I forced myself to go to work, because I was my only breadwinner. I have nine staff members that depend on me for their livelihood, and I better get my act together because I’m failing them.” —Dr. Kimberly Hubenette 

23:13 “You need people around you to help you come from this. It’s not easy.” —Dr. Monica Parham

24:11 “It’s a choice too. You have to choose to be positive. You have to choose to allow yourself to move forward and understand that this is the only life that we get, and we need to help others.” —Dr. Monica Parham

28:29 “You have to make a conscious decision that you’re going to live a healthy lifestyle. That is actually one thing that we can be in control of.” —Dr. Monica Parham

30:18 “We get so trapped sometimes in a moment or a situation… But this too shall pass. This is a temporary situation.” —Dr. Monica Parham 

32:02 “When you love yourself, you can give that love to other people.” —Dr. Monica Parham

Dr. Monica Parham is originally from Tupelo, Mississippi, and graduated from high school in 1983 before earning a scholarship to attend the University of Southern California. She completed her undergraduate degree in Dental Hygiene and went on to earn her Doctorate in Dentistry. She further advanced her training at the West Los Angeles VA Hospital, where she received her specialty degree and served as Chief Resident in her second year.

She built a successful dental practice from the ground up in Potomac, Maryland, where she lived and worked for over two decades. Now based in Birmingham, Alabama, she practices cosmetic dentistry while remaining closely involved in caring for her aging parents.

A dedicated advocate of health and wellness, she enjoys Pilates, fitness, skiing, and maintaining a healthy lifestyle. Above all, she values her faith and family, taking great pride in her blended family and in her roles as a mother and grandmother.

Connect with Dr. Monica Parham:

• Instagram
• Facebook

Welcome to the  Live, Love, Survive, Thrive! Podcast that helps you embrace life’s challenges, grow through adversity, and discover your true potential. I’m your host, Dr. Kimberly Hubenette, anti-aging dentist, widow, Author and inspirational Coach. I live by the “Can I” philosophy of constant and never ending improvement, and I’m here to help you do the same. Each week, we’ll dive into real conversations, powerful stories and practical tools to help you heal, grow and thrive. Whether you’re rebuilding after loss or ready to step into a more purposeful life, this space is for you. Let’s grow, evolve and thrive together. 

Dr. Kimberly Hubenette: Hi everybody, and welcome back to the next episode of Live, Love, Survive, Thrive!. This is your host, Dr. Kimberly Hubenette, and I’m here today with a really special friend of mine. We’ve known each other for over 30 plus years. We went to dental school together, and she is a great friend. Every time we see each other, it’s like no time passes by.

Dr. Monica Parham: That is so true.

Dr. Kimberly Hubenette: Her name is Dr. Monica Parham. I don’t know if people have seen you on TV or anything, but we saw you on the Golden Bachelor recently. I’m so proud of you because of your story. And she’s a widow also, and so she’s living life to the fullest now. My podcast is called Live, Love, Survive, Thrive!. So Monica, tell us and my listeners about you.

Dr. Monica Parham: Oh, guys, I have such a big, long story. I don’t even know where to start. You know me, Kim, so well. I’m originally from Tupelo, Mississippi, and I got a scholarship to attend our school, University of Southern California. And I had no clue, I had never flown on an airplane, and I had never really been out of Mississippi much, so it was quite the leap of faith. And I’ve been known to do that a time or two. I accepted the scholarship and packed up everything I had. My family, they were all so distraught over the whole thing. But it was the best thing that ever happened when I met you? It was back in 1987. It was a long time ago. We’re getting old, girl.

Dr. Kimberly Hubenette: I remember you saying that you had never gotten on an airplane.

Dr. Monica Parham: Yeah. You and I were in the same lab, so we were together all the time. But anyway, it was quite the adventure. And living in downtown LA was an adventure in of itself. But we had an amazing time. I met you all beautiful people, and I ended up finishing my undergrad, and then graduated with you. And then I did a two year general practice residency at the West LA VA hospital. I was chief resident in my second year, so I was very, very busy. And then I met my boy’s dad there in LA at school, and he’s originally from the DC area. So after I graduated dental school and then did my residency, we got married. And then his family’s originally from the DC area, so we moved back, raised the two boys there. I was in Maryland for 23 years, and I opened my own dental practice, and built it from the ground up. And that was another thing for me. Miss adventurous, I did that. Looking back now, I’m like, how did I do that? How do we do these things as women? 

I had the two boys, and I also had my own dental practice. I’d get there at the crack of dawn. Sometimes, not leave till late, and have to go, pick up the boys, bring them back to the office. It was a lot looking back. After a few years, we were married for about 15 years, and things happened in life. As we know, things happen in life, and we ended up getting divorced. It was a very difficult time in my life and for the boys. But then, I was so blessed beyond measure. God sent me the most beautiful, amazing man. His name was Gerry, Gerry George, and he was an implant specialist. Also in our dental field, and he was just such a blessing. He was such an amazing father to my boys, and they learned so much from him. And it was the first time in my life I ever felt like I could be me. It’s really interesting how sometimes we live our lives always trying to please other people, or being who we think they want us to be. And it was the first time in my life I ever felt so free. It was just such a beautiful union. He and I together. He loved me so much to my core and accepted everything about me, and I to him. We just had the most beautiful life together. And then God had other plans, and he passed away during Covid. 

In 2021, we had moved down here south. Let me back up just a second. I promised my parents, and I became an empty nester, that I moved back south to take care of them. So here I am in Birmingham, Alabama, two hours away from my parents. But my brother and sister in law live here too, my niece and nephew. So we were living here. We had such a great life here, too. And then Covid hit, and then I lost him during Covid. He was my best friend. The love of my life. It was a really, really difficult time for me. He has his own four children, then I have my two boys. He was kind of the backbone of our families, and it was very devastating for all of us. But you know what? I would not give anything for that time I spent with him. I learned so much about life myself. My boys were so fortunate that they had such an incredible role model in him. There’s very few people that sometimes I feel like just from talking to other people, that you really get that kind of love in your life. 

And I know, Kim, you had that too. You lost your husband as well. But I’m still so blessed beyond measure. Initially, it was the most heart wrenching. I think I stayed in my husband’s closet for the first three months after he died. I stayed there for hours and hours. I couldn’t go to work for about three months. It was just that devastating for me. I would pray a lot. And of course, my friends would come over and my family, and they would try to talk. But then I’d go right back to the closet where his clothes were. It was a really rough time because I’m thinking about all the plans that we make in our life, and then life happens completely different than what you hope or expect. And then after, I guess just spending so much time, then praying and listening to myself, I was like, you know what, I’ve got to reinvent myself. Because he was so amazing, and I just put everything I had into him and our relationship. And then when he was gone, I was there thinking, what am I going to do now? How am I going to come out of this? At the time you look at it and think, I am never going to be able to get out of this situation. That’s what I was thinking in the first couple of months. 

And then just through a lot of prayer and just really, really digging deep inside myself. I was like, you know what? Gerry would not want this. He celebrated everything about me and I started thinking, you know what? If I could at least bring myself out of this and share with others who also grieving, who have been through, there’s so many people that I know that they’ve been through similar situations, if I can just help or just be there to be a listening ear or understand what they’re going through because it took me quite a while. You’re not ever completely past it. You know what I mean? They’re always there, and they’re always right there. He’ll always be a part of me for the rest of my life, but in a good way. So I feel he was so positive, upbeat and inspiring that I started thinking about how he was, and how he would be so proud of me if I would move forward and be my best self, because that’s what he always celebrated which made me feel like a better person. He made me a better person. Of course, he would say that to me, that I made him a better person, but that’s why I’m such a blessing. But guess what I know now, what it’s like to have that true love in your life that so many people search, wish and hope for. Even though we were only together for 15 years, it was just the most amazing experience in my life. And so now when I move forward, now I’m kind of, I have this new lease on life. I’m just gonna go now. I already had the love of my life. I’m just gonna go and enjoy the rest of my life. 

And if someone says, let’s go skydiving. I’m gonna go. Sign me up. I’m going. Do you want to travel to Europe and stay two or three months? Yes, I’m ready to go. I have this new look at life because it is very fleeting. It’s very short in the whole grand scheme of things. And I am just ready to live my life. And I guess the whole thing with the TV show, the really cute thing about the whole TV show situation, my dental assistant, she was like, Dr. Parham, can I have some updated pictures of you? And I was like, oh, is it for a website? She goes, no. I said, what’s it for? She goes, well, I sent some photos of you. And I stole them off your Facebook. I did this whole write up about you. I’m like, where do you send this to? And she’s like, well, that’s what I’m trying to help you out. Your life is so boring. You work like a dog. You go do pilates after work. You take tons of vitamins. You have all this energy, and then you go take care of your parents every weekend. You need some spice in your life. She signed me up for the Golden Bachelor. I’m like, what? And she said, it’s that dating show for old people. I am not old. Doing a dating show? Oh, my gosh. I felt my face turn beet red. Dated so very few people my whole life. I was like, I can’t do that. I can’t do that. And she goes, yes, you can. And I was like, Alyssa, I can’t do that. Oh, yes, you can. So we have this little fight back and forth. And then everyone in the office is like, Dr. Parham, you have to do this. What a wonderful opportunity. And actually, the Golden Bachelor people who I interviewed with, they were all so amazing, wonderful. They were precious. They make you feel good about yourself. And I guess they have like 76,000 applicants, and they only pick 23 ladies. 

Dr. Kimberly Hubenette: You’re beautiful, Monica. You are such a beautiful friend inside and out always. They picked the perfect person. 

Dr. Monica Parham: Well, I tell you one thing for sure, I made some of the best new girlfriends. Now, you’re going to always be right here, Kim, deep in my heart. But I did meet so many girlfriends, and they’re all spectacular women. I think the show did an incredible job at seeking out all 23 of us. It’s very interesting. Quite a few of us are very, very similar people, very loving, giving. We actually had a little prayer group going on. They’re just beautiful people. And it was really nice to hear their stories. And then all of us being 60 or over, because I am 60, and I was so crazy to say, stronger than the rest of us. So in your mind, in my mind, I’m still back in our dental school days. Kim, let’s go snow skiing like we used to. And all the parties we had, it was so fun. But hearing their stories and being with these ladies, it is really difficult at our age, 60 and over, to date. And it made me feel a little bit better. Okay, let’s go back. Because I didn’t think I was ready to date at all. I have been seeing someone, though on and off, that I had known since he was 19 years old. 

So I do have someone that I have been seeing, and he really, really helped me see that I can move forward, and the show has really, really helped me just being with those ladies and learning so much from them, and they are also accomplished. They’re super bright. They’re driven and beautiful. We all feel the same way. Our age group is really difficult. Most everyone’s married, been married for a long time, or just everyone’s already set up in their families and their grandkids. It’s a tough time in our lives to be dating, and everyone’s kind of having the same experience. It’s hard to really find someone to date. At first, for me, it was probably one of the hardest things I ever did. And like I said, the guy that I do see, he lives about three hours away in Tennessee. But he’s been very helpful to me to ease me into the dating thing again. But it’s difficult, Kim. It was hard for me to move forward. I had to bring myself out of this situation and live life because it’s not just about living it. I like the way you do with your podcast. Not only to thrive and survive, this is the only life we get. We only have this one opportunity. And you know what? We have to make the decision in our life to move forward. No one can do that for us, and we can’t just keep trying to live in the past. We have to make the conscious decision to move forward.

Dr. Kimberly Hubenette: What really broke the camel’s back that you said, I’m not going to live one more day like this again. What really happened? Was there something that really made you decide?

Dr. Monica Parham: I have a couple of my girlfriends that I would talk to. My girlfriend in California, the one who lives in Dana Point. She’s a dentist down in Orange County, and I talked to her a lot. And my boys, and even my step kids, my husband’s kids, they were pleading with me to move forward, and that it’s okay. And I don’t know. I think for me, I keep saying I was in the closet. It sounds terrible. Sounds pathetic. I’m not trying to make anyone feel sorry for him. But I think something deep inside me just said, you’ve got to stop this. Because I think it was taking me a lot, and it was taking me a while. In the beginning, I was just like, God, just take me too. I was that close to Gerry. How am I going to live the rest of my life without him? I think I just got so deep in the depths of despair on my own in that closet. And I told you, I was just praying and crying. And it kept going on and on. And finally, I was just like, I had to make a conscious decision to bring myself out. I think through the power of prayer to God helping me. And I just think that I just made up my mind. But I always told myself that no matter what, I want to honor Gerry for the rest of my life because I feel like the spirit of him helped me. Because he loved life too. He was such an amazing man, positive and good Christian. He’s a big part of it, and I always want to honor him by everything that I do. I will never forget him. He’s always there, because I’m just so grateful to him that he gave me that kind of love in this life. Because so many people don’t get that, Kim. I know that you know that too. You were so close to your husband, just like I am. Wnd we’re so blessed that we got that.

Dr. Kimberly Hubenette: I remember that first three months, I reached out to you a few times, but you’re really struggling.

Dr. Monica Parham: Oh, it was really bad. I think that was probably the worst time in my entire life. I still have my parents alive. My mom’s 94, and my dad’s 86. No one that is close to me has ever passed away. And for him, my best friend, the love of my life, my everything, that’s the way I felt about him. We were just so connected. 

Dr. Kimberly Hubenette: One other question that I had for you is, what are some unexpected gifts that emerged from your loss and your struggle?

Dr. Monica Parham: Let’s see. My unexpected gifts, probably more than anything, were just the relationships with my boys, and just to have their support and their love. Another thing for me, I still have to be my best self for them. Even though I have lost Gerry, I still had to be my best self for them. And I knew that they were going to be such a big part of, not that they were unexpected by any means, but they got me through it also. But I guess unexpected in the sense that they were just so close to Gerry too. Unexpectedly, they were like, Gerry would want you to move forward. My girlfriends would say that, Monica, Gerry loved you so much, but he wants you to move forward. And then there were a couple of other things that I guess were unexpected. A lot of my staff members and all their support.

Dr. Kimberly Hubenette: I remember when this happened to me and Mark passed away, I didn’t want to get out of bed. I actually didn’t even want to take a shower or anything. That was my friend. But when I forced myself to go to work, I had to go to work because I was my only breadwinner. I was thinking to myself, I have 9 staff members that depend on me for their livelihood, and I better get my act together because I’m failing them. Tell me about that. How did you do that?

Dr. Monica Parham: Yeah. That’s true. When you have all these other people, especially when you’re in the situation that we’re in, we’re doctors, right? And not only do we have the responsibility to our staff members. Our patients love us. For me, my patients are like my family too. They miss us, and they need us too. So you’re right, it’s difficult that we have this accountability. But in the same sense, that’s what pulls us, helps pulls us out of this despair to make us get up and take that shower, to finally put ourselves together and try to put our best face on. My dental hygienist, she just lost her long term boyfriend. They were pretty much engaged, but they’ve been together about almost 10, 12 years. He just passed away a few weeks ago, and she’s my age. But you know what? She came back to work in one week. She still had her moments. But I do really admire her because she can pull it together. But I think it helped her not just be stuck at home just in agony the whole time. 

And I said, Kim, you’re such an inspiration. She goes, I had to come back to work. Staying at home, I would never want to move or do anything. She could just think about her boyfriend, and it was awful. And his was a sudden death too. I missed about three months of work. But it’s good for you that you did have that. See? There’s a lot of people that don’t have that support system in their background to drive them to really move forward. I really empathize with them. I didn’t have that too. That would have been even more reason I just want to stay here, never leave. When I say that I stay in the closet, sometimes, I would sleep there with his clothes, you know. Because when you get in the bed, being in the bed by yourself isn’t the same. I had my body pillow, and then I had my goldendoodle. He’s been my best friend since my husband has passed. You and I have such similar stories, and you have a big staff. How long were you out, Kim?

Dr. Kimberly Hubenette: For me, I was out for a week and a half, and then I went back. Instead of six days a week, I went back three days a week, and that’s the most I can handle. I can’t handle much more than that.

Dr. Monica Parham: No, I know. We have such a tough job anyway. And thank goodness we love it. We love our patients, and we love our team. It works. We were very blessed that we’re surrounded by that community that we have. I think that’s it in a nutshell. You need people around you to help you come from this. It’s not easy. I’m sure you’re like me. We have our days too when there’s a little breakdown here. It’s funny that my patients, I feel so close to them. Sometimes, we’ll have discussions. Or maybe one of my patients loses a spouse and I always, I have yet to get through my dream that I had. I’ve told so many people this dream about Gerry. I saw him in heaven in my dream, and I have almost been able to make it now. It’s been almost five years. It’ll be five years on August the 2nd that he passed away, but you can’t make it through telling that whole story yet. We still have that, right? I’m sure you do too. Or something comes up that just takes you back. But again, I still try to be positive. Basically, you have to make a conscious decision. It’s a choice too. You have to choose to be positive. You have to choose to allow yourself to move forward and understand that this is our only life that we get, and we need to help others. We need to be here to support other people, and help other people get through hard times because we’ve had them. And I think what you’re doing is such a blessing. Thank you, Kim, for doing this. And your podcast is amazing because it reaches so many people. You’re helping people by letting these people know they’re not alone, that we’ve all been there. Us that are on the podcast who have been here, done this, and we can show that you can move forward. It’s tough, but you make a decision and do it. You just think positive the whole time. That’s my new thing. I’m really being positive and trying to keep myself healthy. Oh, it is a full time job.

Dr. Kimberly Hubenette: Yeah. What do you do to look so amazing? You look so amazing. Do you have supplements?

Dr. Monica Parham: My staff members have done videos and recordings of me, my team members every day. I have my pre-work, my pre vitamins. And then before lunch, and then after lunch, I have others. I take so many supplements. Girl, I take every supplement there is, I think. And I’m very big into pilates. So I have my routine. I get up every morning at about 5:30 and get myself to work. Do all that. I don’t eat breakfast. I fast. I try to eat pretty early the night before, and I’m really on this protein kick like everyone’s trying to do their protein. Last night, I had my grilled chicken bites. But I always like, we don’t have much time. I get off work and go to pilates. I come home and it’s 8:00 o’clock. I have to walk my dog after all these things. And so I get the frozen ones at Target. Just the ones that are no antibiotics, no hormones. I think that the grilled chicken bites, I stick them in my air fryer. Then I get my organic sweet potatoes that are frozen, and the broccoli that is also from Target organic, I stick it in the microwave. And I balance a lot of cheese on my chicken, and then I’ll switch it up. I’ll do ground turkey, or the ground grass fed grass finished beef. So I’m very good about trying to, no preservatives. I try not to eat anything unhealthy. Once in a while, our patients are gonna bring in cookies, chips, candies and stuff. So once in a while, have a little bite. You can’t totally deny yourself. I love my dark chocolate. I go to the gym. So I’ll do my pilates, and I’ll try to go to the gym two or three times a week. Also to do weightlifting. Because especially at our age, we need weightlifting to support our joints so we don’t have too much arthritis. I have a little bit. But you know what? I do a lot of collagen. I do a lot of collagen, and I do your life vantage that I love. Everyone always makes fun of me. How much money are you spending on all that stuff? I’m like, you don’t want to know. Very expensive.

Dr. Kimberly Hubenette: It makes you look good. That means you’re doing something right.

Dr. Monica Parham: That’s right, honey. I do a little Botox here and there. Because we can give Botox so I give it all myself a little here and there. But no plastic surgery or anything. I’ll do my forehead. I’ll do my own little Botox.

Dr. Kimberly Hubenette: I was trying to do my Botox, and I couldn’t push the thing. And I said, hey, Nancy, come over here. Can you push it? Because I was just like, yes, I understand because I’ve been there.

Dr. Monica Parham: I haven’t had any cosmetics yet. One of the Golden girls, she just had her face lift done, and then already looked pretty good. So maybe down the road, we’ll see. I don’t know about that yet. I don’t think I need it yet. But anyway, I have good genes. My mom’s 94, and she still looks really good. She was just playing pickleball with us just a few years ago, at 90 or 92, so she’s in great shape. But I tell you what, that’s another thing that you have to make a conscious decision and a choice that you’re going to live a healthy lifestyle. That is actually one thing for sure, that we can be in control of. Because you can’t let everything else control you, with all the food and the terrible food that’s out there now, and all the preservatives and all that. So I research everything to death, and I make sure that all the things I’m eating or my supplementation is the real deal, and it’s good stuff. We’re in control of our own bodies. Our bodies are at the temple, or God’s temple. To us, we got to take care of these bodies. And again, this is our only life we’re getting, so I’m doing my best to be as healthy as I possibly can. And it’s actually been really good. I have tons of energy. I’m hardly ever tired. You know that girls at work are like, Doctor, you run circles around us. You know I do. I have a lot of energy, and I love what I do. I love my patients so much, and my team members. I’m blessed to have such an amazing family and my boys that I adore. So awesome. My oldest just give me a grandbaby. I have three step-grand babies, and they’re amazing too. But maybe my oldest son, he’s married and just bought a house. So hopefully, I’ll get a grandbaby girl since I had the two boys.

Dr. Kimberly Hubenette: So do you have a special quote that you live by?

Dr. Monica Parham: You know what my entire life, and I think this is what got me through dental school. I think this is so silly, but everyone who knows me knows that I say this all the time. You may remember, I don’t know my whole life. I have always told myself, and out loud, I’ve said, this too shall pass. That’s always been my thing. We get so trapped, sometimes, in a moment or a situation that you’re just like, how am I going to get out of this? How’s this going to get all worked up? And then I have to tell myself, you know that I have the little song in my head, the little frozen song, Let It Go. Let it go, so this too shall pass. I keep telling myself, Monica, this is a temporary situation. This too shall pass. You’ll get through it. You always do. Don’t stress so hard about it. Just think it through, and it’ll be gone. Why are we letting ourselves get so upset? So for me, that’s been like a big thing for me. This too shall pass. I’ve lived my life by that. My whole life. And then sometimes, I have to sing Let It Go in my head, and something comes up. Just let it go.

Dr. Kimberly Hubenette: And you know with my the name of the podcast, Live, Love, Survive, Thrive!, I know that it exudes some feelings for you as well. Tell the audience what does that mean to you.

Dr. Monica Parham: For me, you have to have love for yourself. It’s almost like putting your own oxygen mask on before others. You have to love yourself first. And in order to do that, you have to do the work to make sure that you’re the person that you would want to love. So once you get to that point when you love yourself, and you’re really working on yourself, you’re never, ever going to get the best, ever. I don’t think that you think it could be. It’s always something to learn. But the love part for me, because when you love yourself, you can really give that love to other people. And this life is so full. There’s a lot of hate in the world, and I don’t like that. I love all people, and I’m very empathetic. I love all people, and my heart is always open to everyone. Like you said, you know I’m a caregiver, so I love taking care of people. I love for people to feel good about themselves. I feel good about myself, and I think that that makes me better to be able to share with others, and see the beauty in them. I have people who come into the office or whatever, and I can tell that they just don’t feel good about themselves. I always try to pick out something really wonderful about them, you know, and then I like to engage them on that. And so I just  love that. I love giving love to others. And again, I had the love of my life, Gerry. I got to share a big part of my life with him. 

And then the survival part, the part for you to survive is pretty much kind of where you get to when you’re in the closet for three months. You come to this crossroad. It’s like you’re either going to survive or not survive, so you get to that crossroad and you just have to, again, make that decision. And then when you make the decision that you’ve got to survive whatever that is that you’ve been through in your life, which you know what? Life is going to throw us right and left curve balls all the time. There’s always going to be something, so you’ve got to survive these things. And then when you get to the survival thing, like for me where I got to that part and then I had to make the decision, I have to thrive. God gives us one life, and I have got to turn that to survive and to thrive. That takes a little more work. You have to be able to put yourself out there. You have to be able to go off, go out and do things that you never would do. Especially on your own. I’ve gone out to dinner by myself, and you know what? I kind of liked it. It was kind of fun. Just things like that that I would never, ever do. So life is what you’re going to, and then we get to the life to live your life. You have to make all these decisions to really want to live your life and thrive. 

But I tell you what, you have to pull yourself out first, and you’ll get to a crossroads in your life where it’s up to you. No one else can pull you out of this. You have your friends and your family who are always there to support you. But until you make that decision, and that it’s okay to make that decision, I started feeling guilty. I was like, oh, no, I can’t do that because of this. In the beginning, I didn’t want to talk to any widow. I don’t know if you felt that way. I went to some grief counseling classes, and I did all that, but I didn’t want to be around, I don’t know. I’m better now. I can do it now, and I love it. But initially, I didn’t want to be around other widows. Because for me, it just brought me down. I just feel worse. But now, I love it. I know I can, because you know why? Because I’m reaching the thriving point. I think, again, you have to decide to survive, and then move forward to thrive. And I think now, I’m at that point in my life where I’m thriving. I actually really put myself out there by going on a TV show, of all things. I’m like, you know how I am. I love people, I’m fun, and I love being out with people. But I usually would never do that. Like I said, I made a decision to do it. And guess what, I’m so happy and thrilled that I did that. Who gets that kind of opportunity comes around. I would never in a million years think that that would have ever happened to me, but it did. And guess what? 

I did it. I can’t believe it, but I did it. That’s another part of this thriving part of my life. And it’s going to keep going, I’m not done yet. I’m thriving. I’m moving forward more and more every day, or every week, every month. And I love it. It’s been really wonderful. And Gerry would be so proud of me that I’m moving forward and doing well. And I think without his love, blessings and what I’ve been through with him, I wouldn’t be who I am today to be able to thrive like this, you know. So that’s why we all have to always look at the bright side, or the happier side, or the positive side. If you dig deep, you can find it. And I promise you, it’s so much more uplifting, and your heart just feels so much better when you choose to be positive and not just keep being down all the time. Again, we have to be accountable to other people. We have to bring the light into their world. Being a dentist, you can’t go in there all upset or whatever. You have to bring your best self to them. That helps too. We’re so blessed to have such an amazing job. A lot of people look at it in a different way. But for me, it’s been such a blessing. And I’m sure for you too. I know your patients love you too.

Dr. Kimberly Hubenette: Is there anything that is coming up in Monica’s life? Are you having any new projects or new things that you’re doing? Or can you even tell us?

Dr. Monica Parham: Well, I always have some things in the works that I will be able to share soon, but I am a little bit focused now on my parents. I go almost every weekend to help take care of them. But I do have other things that are coming in the future. I hope those things go. I just want people to know that. If anyone wants to reach out to me or whatever, I want them to know that they’re not alone, and that they can do the same thing. The sky’s the limit. I’m telling you, our minds and brains are much stronger than our body. You’ve got to have the right mindset, and then you can do anything you want.

Dr. Kimberly Hubenette: Where can our listeners reach out to you? Or do you have social media?

Dr. Monica Parham: I’m on Instagram at Dr. Monica Parham, P-A-R-H-A-M. And then I also have a Facebook. The Instagram thing was kind of new for me because I’d never done that before. And actually, I’m not really that big into social media, although I’ve had to be with the show, which made me come out of that shell too. This happened, and it just made me blossom more into a new version of myself. But then I have Facebook. It’s just Monica Parham, I believe. My dental assistant said, Dr. Parham, you could be so boring. So anyway, this has been so great, Kim. I love talking to you, and I always love talking to you. You are such an amazing friend. I don’t know what I’ve done without you. In dental school, you were like my rock. 

Dr. Kimberly Hubenette: We had so much fun together, and dressed out together. We did a lot of things together. And you’re a very special friend to me. Always will be. Yes, to the next reunion, right?

Dr. Monica Parham: Oh, I know. We love those reunions. They’re happening way too fast now. Time is ticking away fast. I’m glad to see you doing this, Kim. I really appreciate it. You’re an amazing person, and you’re helping so many people, honey. I’m just so proud of you. I know you do great things, always.

Dr. Kimberly Hubenette: Oh, great. Always thinking about what’s next.

Dr. Monica Parham: Even when you were young. I love it, Kim. You’re the best. You’re so creative. You’re just the best. I remember so much, so many of our fun times. Thank goodness we have each other still after all these years. I love it.

Dr. Kimberly Hubenette: Well, we have to stay in touch. This was a great interview with you. I’m so glad you had time to come spend with me on my podcast. Our listeners will really, really appreciate your story.

Dr. Monica Parham: I hope so, honey. I’ll be here for them, and I’ll do my best to reach back with them if they decide to reach out. I just want everyone to know that you can do it. You survive and thrive.

Dr. Kimberly Hubenette: Yes, I love it. Well, this is Live, Love, Survive, Thrive!. I’m Dr. Kimberly Hubenette, and this is Dr. Monica Parham. We’re saying bye to you this time, and we’ll see you in the next episode of Live, Love, Survive, Thrive!.

Thank you for joining me on this episode of Live, Love, Survive, Thrive! I hope our time together has inspired you to embrace life’s challenges, find the courage to overcome obstacles, and create a life filled with love, purpose and fulfillment. If you’ve enjoyed today’s episode, please take a moment to rate, review and subscribe to the podcast. Your feedback means the world to me, and to help us continue to bring you stories and tools to empower your journey. And if you have a story of resilience, transformation or thriving after adversity, I’d love to hear from you. Reach out to me directly at livelovesurvivethrive@gmail.com. You never know, your story might just be the inspiration someone else needs to hear. 

To learn more about me and my work, visit my website at www.drkimberlyhubenette.com. While you’re there, be sure to check out my current book, GRID: Once In A Lifetime, You Get To Start Over, a guide to rebuilding and rediscovering life after loss. Get a sneak peek at my upcoming book, Live, Love, Survive, Thrive!, a powerful companion to this podcast, and a heartfelt roadmap to reclaiming joy, resilience and meaning after life’s toughest seasons. You can also connect with me on social media. Follow me on Facebook at authordr.kimberlyhubenette. Follow me on Instagram with the same name, and subscribe to my Youtube channel at Live, Love, Survive, Thrive! for more inspiration and insights. 

Remember, you have the power within you to write your story and thrive beyond your wildest imaginations. Keep relearning to live love, survive, thrive every single day. Until next time, I’m Dr. Kimberly Hubenette, and this is Live, Love, Survive, Thrive!